Babies cannot explain fear. They cannot describe loss. They cannot tell a caregiver that something feels unfamiliar, unsafe or overwhelming.
But does that mean they cannot experience trauma?
According to Get Too Attached: Collective Wisdom on Fostering Babies by Alicia McCormick, PhD, the answer is clear: yes, they can.
The forthcoming book brings together the experiences of foster parents who have cared for babies from a wide range of difficult circumstances. Again and again, their stories challenge the assumption that infants are somehow protected from trauma simply because they are too young to consciously remember what happened.
Trauma Can Begin Before a Baby Can Speak
In the book, McCormick explains that babies may enter foster care after experiencing prenatal stress, substance exposure, neglect, medical complications, instability or separation from their biological families.
Even a newborn removed shortly after birth has already experienced familiarity. A baby may recognize a birth mother’s voice, rhythms, sounds and other sensory cues from pregnancy. Entering foster care can mean the sudden loss of those familiar experiences.
McCormick describes this separation as significant even when it is necessary to keep the baby safe.
That reality changes the way foster parents are encouraged to think about infant behavior.
Sometimes Trauma Does Not Look Dramatic
One of the most striking lessons in Get Too Attached is that trauma does not always look the way people expect.
Some foster babies cry intensely and struggle to be soothed. Others have trouble feeding, sleeping, relaxing when held or regulating their bodies.
But sometimes the signs appear almost positive.
A baby may sleep for long periods, rarely cry or seem unusually calm. People may describe that child as an “easy baby.” Yet some foster parents in the book discovered that extreme quietness could reflect a history in which crying did not consistently result in comfort or care.
One story describes a baby who avoided eye contact and resisted being held after experiencing multiple caregiving changes within only a few months. Consistency, responsiveness and patient physical connection became part of helping that child begin to experience adults differently.
Safety Has to Be Experienced
This is where attachment becomes central to McCormick’s message.
A foster parent cannot simply tell an infant, “You are safe now.”
Safety must be experienced repeatedly.
It can happen when someone responds to hunger. When a baby is comforted instead of left alone in distress. When routines become predictable. When the same caregiver keeps returning. When voices remain calm. When physical affection is gentle and consistent.
Across the book, foster parents describe using baby wearing, swaddling, skin-to-skin contact, responsive feeding, soothing routines, medical support, early intervention and emotional co-regulation.
These actions do not erase the past. They help create something new.
A Book About Understanding Before Judging
Get Too Attached is not simply a collection of difficult foster-care stories. It is an invitation to look differently at babies whose behaviors may otherwise be misunderstood.
Instead of assuming that an infant is too young to be affected, McCormick encourages caregivers to recognize that babies can carry experiences they cannot explain.
And instead of fearing attachment, the book argues that foster babies need adults willing to offer it wholeheartedly.
Get Too Attached: Collective Wisdom on Fostering Babies by Alicia McCormick, PhD, is currently in the publishing phase and will be available to readers soon. For foster parents, prospective caregivers and anyone seeking to better understand infant trauma, it offers an important reminder: a baby does not need words for an experience to matter.
Read the book on Amazon: https://a.co/d/021kJ9Y3
